


Fear

by SherlockHolmes



Category: Avengers, Iron Man - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Nightmares, PTSD, References to Torture, Tony!Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-29 21:38:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/691731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockHolmes/pseuds/SherlockHolmes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark is not afraid of anything</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear

Tony Stark is not afraid of anything.

Tony Stark would risk getting blown out of the sky to deploy a stranger's parachute.

Tony Stark would power a suit with the only thing keeping him alive to stop a man who was more powerful in every aspect.

Tony Stark would joke in front of a court of law.

Tony Stark would poke a man with the potential to lose control and kill them all at any moment in the side without fear.

Tony Stark would jump out of a plane and battle a man whom many perceived as a god without the slightest hesitation.

Tony Stark would get up in the face of a man who was superhuman and challenge him to a fight.

Tony Stark would go up to the God of Mischief and threaten him, despite his lack of protection.

Tony Stark would grab a missile and bring it up through a small portal in the sky, despite the fact that his chances of survival were slim.

Tony Stark is not afraid of anything. Not in the eyes of the Avengers.

* * *

Tony Stark was very afraid.

More afraid then he had been in a long, long time.

Thor was diving into the pool, making comments about how he could now understand this Midgardian habit was so popular. Steve was sitting by the pool, just dipping his feet in and smiling at the group in the pool. Even Bruce was splashing around, floating calmly in the water with his eyes closed, relaxed and paying no attention to the world around him. Clint and Natasha were, typically, splashing each other. Every now and then the assassin would grab the archer and push him under the water. He'd always splash to the surface with a laugh, but Tony could not stop watching. Waiting.

Steve noticed him and grinned. "Come on, Tony. Get in."

It was probably always going to come. The moment, the day when they'd finish a mission and be allowed to go on a vacation. Somewhere with beautiful pools and beaches that they could stop and relax at.

Tony could think of an entire encyclopedia of things he'd rather. One of them was getting chucked out of a building without his suit on. Or flying a missile into another dimension. Or getting into a fistfight with Captain America.

"Nah, I'm tired. I reckon I'll hit the sack soon."

"Oh, come on, Tony, don't be such a kill-joy," Clint called. "You've been either working or sleeping all week, you deserve a chance to relax as much as the rest of us."

"I quite enjoy my work," he replied, turning to leave. He shouldn't have come in the first place. It was a bad, bad idea.

Someone was grabbing him. Firm but friendly hands on his shoulders. Before he knew what was happening, he hit the water.

It filled his mouth. It was in his eyes. Flooding his ears and his nose, stopping all breath. All he could feel was the water, pressing down on him from all sides. He opened his mouth but inhaled a lungful of the liquid instead. He thrashed the the surface, gasping for air, waiting for the moment hands would grab him and force him back down.

He couldn't feel the car battery. It wasn't attached to his chest. Thee was nothing there.

Shrapnel was going to enter his heart. He'd finally lost the battery. He was going to die, here, in this cave. The end of Tony Stark.

He gave up struggling.

Tony Stark was very afraid.

* * *

Tony Stark felt hands grabbing him. Pulling him up, out of the water.

But for how long? He was going to be forced under, the very second he breathed. He coughed out water. There was so much of it. It was always there. He could feel it in his clothes, his hair, his lungs, everywhere.

His hands found his chest. Scraped along the smooth surface of his arc reactor. Arc reactor, not car battery. He kept on feeling it, making sure it was still there.

"Tony!"

"Tony, are you okay?"

He wasn't in Afghanistan. He was laying on his side by a pool at a nice hotel with the rest of the Avengers. All of whom were staring at him.

Not removing his hand from the arc reactor, Tony slowly stood up. Like nothing had happened.

"I think I'm going to go to bed."

The rest of his team just watched him go.

Tony Stark could still feel hands grabbing him, pushing him under.

* * *

Tony Stark could not sleep.

He'd spend fifteen minutes standing outside the shower stall. It shouldn't be hard. Just step inside. Step inside and wash it all away.

The steam floated around his feet.

"You're pathetic," he whispered to himself. He couldn't even stand under the shower. The thought of the water, there, all over him.

He reached inside and turned it off. Instead he got changed into pyjamas and lay down on top of his covers.

Try as he might, Tony Stark could not sleep.

* * *

Tony Stark was drawn from a nightmare by a knock on his door.

He spent half a second gathering himself, before calling, "Who is it?"

"It's Clint! I just wanted to talk about before."

Tony opened the door, knowing exactly what his colleague wanted. "What before?"

"At the pool."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Tony Stark was an irritating sod.

"I am talking about the way you freaked out the moment you hit the water."

Tony shrugged his shoulders. "I don't see what there is to talk about."

The archer gave a sigh. "Look, I'm sorry for pushing you in. I had no idea you'd react like that."

"Forget about it."

"But..."

"No, really. Forget about it."

It was the closest to serious Clint had ever seen him. He nodded and left.

Tony Stark returned to a nightmare as the door clicked shut.

* * *

Tony Stark has always had secrets.

"You know he spent three months in captivity in Afghanistan, don't you?" Bruce asked the team. Natasha nodded, but Steve, Clint and Thor shook their heads.

"It wasn't in his file," Steve said. Bruce nodded.

"He hacked SHEILD. Made sure that you couldn't find out things he didn't want you to know."

"How do you know about it, then?" Steve asked.

"He got really drunk one night and told me," Bruce replied. He'd spent a lot of time with Tony Stark, having taken him up on his offer to let him stay at Stark Tower. "They kept him in a cave for three months, forcing him to build a weapon. He, instead, built himself his first Iron Man suit and busted out of there."

Clint whistled. Even Steve had to admit it was impressive. Perhaps the boy had more of his father in him than he'd originally thought.

"But before he'd had that idea he had refused to build the weapon. He didn't have his Arc Reactor, just a car battery apparently. And, in an attempt to get him to obey them, they took him and tortured him. Forced his head under water again and again and again until he finally begged for them to stop."

Natasha had heard this before, but she still looked uncomfortable. Clint was looking entirely horrified by the idea. Thor looked furious, his hand tightening on his hammer ever so slightly. And Steve... the look on his face was similar to when Bruce had confessed having tried to kill himself. That sort of stunned horror.

"I had no idea," he said softly. Clint nodded in agreement. "Why didn't he say anything?"

Bruce laughed. "He's Tony Stark. His entire life he's been under scrutiny. His father, the media, you guys, everyone stared at him. The slightest weakness and they'd tear into him. He probably learnt early not to show any chinks in his armor. And I think he considers the idea of having been tortured and being afraid of water a pretty bit weakness."

"He should have told us," Steve said, looking a little unhappy about having not known about this.

"Look, Steve, no offense, but he didn't quite get off on the right foot with you."

_I know men with none of that worth ten of you._

The amount of times Steve Rogers regretted those words was a number that one was not able to count on two hands. He added this moment to the tally, but kept up a poker face. He was the leader of this team.

"This sort of selfish behavior could put the entire team into jeopardy. What if we hadn't found out about it here? What if we were fighting something and he got tossed into the water?"

"He waterproofed his suit," Bruce replied. "And he feels a lot safer inside that then he does outside it."

Clint looked even more guilty at that.

"Do not worry, eye of hawk, you could not have known man of iron's reaction."

Tony Stark was always a mystery.

* * *

Tony Stark knew he should explain what happened to his team.

He didn't want to mention it. He just wanted to forget about it, about the months. He didn't want to see Clints guilt and sympathy, or Thor's rage, or Captain America's pity. He didn't want to appear weak, or afraid, of anything.

When he got up and moved down to the breakfast table, he was not surprised that they were all staring at him. Well, apart from Bruce, who was eating his food as enthusiastically as always.

"I'm sorry, Tony," Clint said softly. "I didn't know."

It didn't take more than a second for Tony to put two and two together.

"You told them."

Bruce look up, mouth full of cereal, and swallowed it down. "Yea. I figured you wouldn't want to have to."

Tony looked at him and smiled. "Thanks," he said sincerely, meaning it, before turning and grabbing some food, sitting down. Politely refusing the glass of water that was pushed towards him.

Tony Stark was glad he didn't have to explain.

* * *

Tony Stark knew he had to face his fear some day. Before it became a liability.

After a week and over a dozen failed attempts, Tony finally managed to stand fully under the shower. After a month, he could get into a bath without an issue, so long as he didn't dunk his head under. After two months, he was able to do even that.

None of the others ever mentioned it, and none of them ever asked him to join them on the occasions that there were pools to go swimming in.

Three and a bit months later, they'd finished a mission that had ended rather roughly. Everyone was rather bruised and battered. Clint had finished with blood pouring down his face, his ankle sprained. Natasha had broken at least two ribs, if not more. Banner was exhausted from having hulked out. Even Steve and Thor, despite their strength and healing powers, were looking a bit worse for wear. Tony's helmet had been ripped off him, his suit mostly crushed by the monster they'd been facing. He had bruises and cuts all over his chest and stomach, and his Arc Reactor was dangerously close to being smashed.

When Nick Fury had told them to go to Hawaii for a month, and none of them complained.

They were all at the pool, sitting beside it at their own private hotel. Thor was swimming, Bruce was floating, Clint and Natasha were both sitting in the shallows, sipping cocktails, Clint keeping pressure off his swollen ankle and Natasha wincing every movement. Steve was also in the water, mostly just bobbing around. And Tony came in in his swim trunks, Arc Reactor glowing strongly in his chest. All the scarring around it visible, his stomach and chest cut and all the bruises black and purple, having not yet faded to green.

"You join us, man of iron?" Thor asked in a booming voice. Tony nodded with his usual confidence.

"Wouldn't want to let you guys have all the fun," he told them, smiling. No backing out now. He sat by the side of the pool and slowly lowered himself in, wincing as the coolness of the water hit the bruises and cuts. Still, he persevered, swimming forwards in a confident breast stroke to where Bruce was floating, and gently pushed him down.

The man spluttered as he sunk slightly, jerking back to reality and grinning at Tony as he spotted him.

"Decided to finally join us?"

Tony grinned and splashed him, and didn't cringe when Bruce splashed him back.

Tony Stark had finally faced his fear.

* * *

Tony Stark is not afraid of anything.

Tony Stark would risk getting blown out of the sky to deploy a stranger's parachute.

Tony Stark would power a suit with the only thing keeping him alive to stop a man who was more powerful in every aspect.

Tony Stark would joke in front of a court of law.

Tony Stark would poke a man with the potential to lose control and kill them all at any moment in the side without fear.

Tony Stark would jump out of a plane and battle a man whom many perceived as a god without the slightest hesitation.

Tony Stark would get up in the face of a man who was superhuman and challenge him to a fight.

Tony Stark would go up to the God of Mischief and threaten him, despite his lack of protection.

Tony Stark would grab a missile and bring it up through a small portal in the sky, despite the fact that his chances of survival were slim.

And, despite past experiences, Tony Stark would dive into a pool without hesitation.

Tony Stark is not afraid of anything. Not in the eyes of anyone.

**Author's Note:**

> This is, again, a repost from fanfiction.net, and is a bit of a different writing style to what I usually use


End file.
